What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
