Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize