I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
