i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
