I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
