walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
