well you can't waste a boner
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
