I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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