I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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