I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
