saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
