We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
