She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
be right there i have to get my cape
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
