i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
