I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
