I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
