Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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