ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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