I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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