hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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