Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
