Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was confusing and full of hummus
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
