im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
40s are totally the cure
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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