What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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