I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
