i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
