Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
