I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did I show you my penis last night?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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