We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize