i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
