I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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