You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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