3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
