you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
