Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
