its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
