the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
