No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
