Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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