so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
