Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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