I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
