I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she woke up with a sticky ear
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
