"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
