I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
