ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
