dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
