I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
