I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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