Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
40s are totally the cure
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
