I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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