and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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