I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
