if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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