and next time when you feel me up, do it right
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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