OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am mentally ready for anal.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
