I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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