I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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